John Ridley's Top 'Nontroversies' Of 2011
Commentator John Ridley is the screenwriter for the upcoming movie Red Tails.
It's been another year of stories so overblown, overhyped and overrated, 365 days were hardly enough to contain them.
So before they fade into the Potter's field of time, like the marriage of Kim and what's his name, let's take a look back at the biggest nontroversies of 2011.
Yeah, 'cause really, with Charlie, there were no warning signs.
Roger comes out smelling like the Old Spice dude as his trial for allegedly lying about steroid use collapses like Solyndra. See, this is why guys like Ryan Braun juice up, allegedly. 'Cause in the end, nobody really cares.
Officially it was called "The House Homeland Security Committee Hearing on the Extent of Radicalization in the American Muslim Community and that Community's Response." Apparently that looks better on letterhead than "We Be Religion Baiters, Sponsored by Lowe's."
It was the millionaires versus the billionaires. The big winner? The Miami Heat, 'cause people will be able to hate them only for 66 games instead of a full season.
Just to be clear: It's NOT offensive to play a stereotypical crazy black man on network TV, but it IS offensive to be one in real life.
President Obama released a copy of his long-form birth certificate telling the Don, "We've got better stuff to do." Four days later, the president was announcing to the world Osama bin Laden was dead.
Some parents were worried they wouldn't be able to explain transgender activist Chaz to their kids. If you can explain Nancy Grace, you can explain anything.
This totally crushed the sales of my new book about Frederick Douglass hunting down commie spies in the '50s, but ...
And the biggest nontroversy of 2011?
Is it right to be disappointed in the amount of doom in a "gloom and doom" scenario? Maybe something really bad will happen at some point, but right now this is some very slow-moving pre-28 Days Later zombie-type badness. It seriously couldn't be any more nontroversial if Gloria Allred was representing it.
Here's hoping for nothing but significance in your 2012.